


The Things We Do

by bananasandroses (achuislemochroi)



Series: Whofic [42]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 4X13 (Journey's End), Angst, F/M, Romance, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:37:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/bananasandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The things we do for love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things We Do

“I said ... ‘Rose Tyler’.”

“Yeah, and how was that sentence gonna end?”

He does this for her, in the end, just as in the long run everything he’s ever done since he’d met her has been for her. In refusing to say out loud the words that everybody there knows are true he gives her the shot at for ever with his duplicate that he believes he can never give her himself. His duplicate is not tainted with the blood of millions on his hands, nor has his duplicate killed his own kind. So many reasons exist why he should leave the love of his life here and go back to his universe alone. Not least the fact that she’ll be safer here than she’ll ever be with him.

“Does it need saying?”

He hadn’t known – how could he? – that mere words could taste like so much sackcloth and ashes. Bile rises in his throat so quickly it threatens to choke him and as she turns a look on him of sheer disbelief he wishes with all his hearts he could take back what he’s just said as he stamps down hard on the treacherous little part of him that says this is all for the greater good. There’s nothing good about this, nothing at all.

And she turns to face the other – blue-suited – Doctor.

“And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?”

He closes his eyes, warding off what he knows is going to happen; unwilling to be a witness to it even though he knows it’s what has to happen. She’ll forget _him_ , she’ll be happy, it’s better this way. So he misses how his duplicate leans down to whisper something to her, something for her ears only. He doesn’t need to hear it to know what he’s going to say.

She pulls his duplicate back down again when he pulls away, kissing him on the lips and never before has something that is meant to be good felt so much like it is killing him over and over again. He swallows and turns away, determined to leave now while her attention’s distracted. While he can still force himself to go.

_Good-bye, Rose._

He sees her running towards him on the console screen as he prepares the TARDIS for dematerialisation. It’s by far the hardest thing he’s ever done to force himself to release the handbrake, but still he does it.

 _Still_ he does it.

And in the lonely echoing silence of the console room, even with Donna standing beside him, if he listens (and there's no reason he can think of why he would want to do that, but he does it anyway) he can hear the sound of his two hearts breaking.

_I’m sorry, Rose. I’m so sorry._


End file.
